Alice in Idiom Wonderland (otro ejercicio de inglés)

por Alicia Pérez Gil

FEAT-ESCRIBIRPorque no hya nada mejor que hacer los deberes como a una le viene en gana, he aquí mi manera de aprender frases hechas, expresiones de la lengua de Shakerpeare y eso, que si uno no usa se oxidan.

Gracias, Sr. Carroll, por unos personajes que admiten todo tipo de aberraciones 🙂


Alice in Idiom Wonderland

Once upon a time there were two: on one hand there was the crown and, on the other hand, there was the Lady in Red. The Crown was made of gold, beautifully engraved with roses, daisies and intricate leaves.  An attempt was made to keep it concealed so its glow wouldn´t curse people, as it was very well known that anyone who saw it, would forget about anything else and fall under its will.  The jewel  was hidden deep in the woods, buried underground, where the tree roots surrounded it, trying to put its shine out. Soon gloomy stories and dark legends about the forest grew as thick as the trees and even though the great fame of the Crown´s beauty and value didn´t fade away, travelers and treasure hunters wouldn´t   take the risk to penetrate the thicket and look for it.

Time came when the Crown felt it was appropriate to leave the prison. It happened during the end of the hardest winter.  Arrangements to welcome spring had already been made, but the last storm raged on for days and celebrations had to be put off. The snow first, then hailstones and later on the rain wounded the heart of the forest so much that the tree roots let loose the Crown.  Feeling free, its glow grew bright enough for the ground to open up and the light to be seen from a mile away.

The Lady in Red was riding her bay horse to join in the spring festival. She was wearing a scarlet dress, and carrying a bouquet of carnations and red roses to present to the harvest goddess. Of course, the evil Crown had to shine brighter than ever and, of course had the Lady in Red to stop and find out what the beautiful glow was. Weaken as it was, there was nothing the forest could do to prevent the misfortune.

The young woman saw not only the light, but the crown itself, picked it up from the floor and, without a trace of doubt, put it on her head.

She still went to the village, but something had changed about her attitude. Whereas in the past she had been polite, well-mannered and considerate to everyone, now she behaved as if her noble position had gone to her head. She looked down on people and wouldn’t return the greetings she received. A little child run into her horse but she didn´t stop. Instead of that, the Red Queen spit her first sentence:

—Off with his head!

It didn’t take long before the crowd put two and two together: a crown on her head and such a terrible change of tune could only mean one thing: she was cursed. Even the slowest on the uptake were fast enough to disappear from her sight. That´s how Idiom Wonderland became a ghost realm.

Fortunately, the Lady in Red was not the only one to had gone round the bend. The Mad Hatter was called Mad Hatter for a reason and he was the one to make up a plan to free the new Red Queen from her evil crown.

—But Alice does not believe in Idiom Wonderland anymore! —someone said.

—And I am late —the white rabbit shouted with his piercing voice.

—Not to talk about…

—Shut up, all of you! Stop splitting hairs and remember what we need.

—We need to cut her head off.

—We need to destroy the crown.

—We need to throw an unbirtday party!!!

—That is such a good idea! —said the Mad Hatter — The unbirthday party preparations will be a good distraction. If we make enough noise we will keep the Red Queen in the dark about our plan and we might have a chance!

—I am late! I am late! I am late!

Absolutely unable to see the wood for the trees, the White Rabbit run away before the plan guidelines were drafted. March Hare and the Hatter sighed at the same time.

—I guess a leopard can’t change it´s spots.

—I wonder if he kows where he is going…

The white flurry silhouette of the rabbit started to look bigger and bigger as the poor animal went back.

—Now, that is a quick change of heart.

—I am late! I am late! I am late!

—I told you, he has no clue where he is heading.

Meanwhile in Oxford…